he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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