What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
