real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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