I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
