I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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