Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
