I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
