Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The struggles of a small town man whore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
