Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
