On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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