Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
