i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
