i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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