HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
