Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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