belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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