So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
