i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
