if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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