I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
