i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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