Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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