My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
