we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
