One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
