Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
