**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize