she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
