I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
