I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
