never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
