perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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