"it" just moved
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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