Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
