one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
