That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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