That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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