sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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