Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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