you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
