were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
