Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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