all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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