My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
