I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Randomize
