I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
