she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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