I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
