I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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