How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
